Week Ten - Mulligan

Mileage (miles per workout): 5 - 8 - 5 - 15

This week took everything I had.  Mentally, physically, emotionally.  Whatever I tried to do, I had myself beat before I started.  Much like being the mole in one of those “Whack-a-Mole” games.  I attempted Day One and made it a mile and a half.  There were times when I would have been proud I had just run that far.  That day it felt like defeat.  I couldn’t get out of my head all the things I had wanted out of life that had yet to materialize.

I tried all the mental strategies I knew.  As soon as the blackboard was wiped clean, it was full again with writing about something else.  It even got to the point where I was fighting back tears as I was walking home.  That’s it.  I’m done.  I don’t want to do this anymore.  It’s too hard.  I’m too slow.  It’s not like anyone will be there so why bother.  My tank was empty.

I had a conversation in a dream that night with my mother.  I only remember vaguely the things we talked about but none of them were related to running.  In fact, I have no actual memory of the things she said but I awoke to birds outside my window the next morning.  That was comforting.  Day Two would be better.  I would be strong.  I would run.  This would be my mulligan.

With no where to go but up the rest of the week would have to get better.

“If you’re going through hell, keep on moving.  Don’t stop now.  If you’re scared don’t show it.  You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there.” – Rodney Atkins

The above lines became my motto for this week.  Whenever I felt tired, sore or as if I wanted to quit, I repeated these lines until I didn’t remember what I was agonizing over in the first place.  I let my mind go blank, switched my legs to autopilot and cruised into the finish line in what felt like no time at all.  The mulligan worked.  I finished stronger than before.

Things I learned this week:

First: Posture is important when running longer distances.  As I focused on my upper body this week I realized I was leaning backwards while running up and down hills.  I blame eight years of marching band.  Once I made the conscience effort of keep my upper body momentum going forward the hills became easier.

Last:  After switching back to running in the evening, I feel more relaxed throughout the next day because I get a better night’s rest.  I’m just not a morning person.  I can accept that.

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